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Games: (MOVED) CHEAP SHOTS at your most hated SPORTS TEAM !

Created by: gdiddy

8/14/09 @ 2:23am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Posts: 1,812

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Diddy loves the Lakers tho. Go purple and gold

and for some reason she continues to be my favorite...

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Created by: d9itl8r

8/14/09 @ 9:08pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143

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Being from Michigan I absolutely despise the Ohio State Buckeyes. So for all it's worth, let the fun begin:
Q: Why did Ohio State change their field from grass to artificial turf?
A: To keep the OSU cheerleaders from grazing at half time.
One day in an elementary school in Columbus, Ohio a teacher asks her class if the Ohio State Buckeyes are their favorite football team. The whole class says yes except for Little Jimmy.
The teacher asks, "What's your favorite football team Jimmy?"
Little Jimmy says, "The Michigan Wolverines."
The teacher asks, "Well, why is that?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, my dad is a Wolverine fan, my mom is a Wolverine fan, I guess that makes me a Wolverine fan."
The teacher angered by his reply says, "If your dad was a moron and your mom was an idiot what would that make you?"
Little Jimmy says, "Well, I guess that would make me a Ohio State fan."
One foggy night, a Michigan fan was heading south from Ann Arbor and an Ohio State fan was driving north from Columbus. While crossing a narrow bridge, they hit each other head-on, mangling both cars.
The Michigan fan manages to climb out of his car and survey the damage. He looks at his twisted car and says, "Man, I'm lucky to be alive!"
Likewise, the Buckeye fan gets out of his car uninjured, he too feeling fortunate to have survived.
The Buckeye fan walks over to the Michigan fan and says, "Hey, man, I think this is a sign that we should put away our petty differences and live as friends instead of being rivals."
The Michigan fan thinks for a moment and says, "You know, you're absolutely right! We should be friends. In fact, I'm going to see if something else survived the wreck."
The Michigan fan then pops open his trunk and removes a full, undamaged bottle of Jack Daniel's. He says to the Buckeye fan, "I think this is another sign--we should toast to our new found friendship." The Buckeye fan agrees and grabs the bottle. After sucking down half of the bottle, he hands it back to the Michigan fan and says, "Your turn!"
The Michigan fan calmly twists the cap back on the bottle, throws the rest of the bottle over the bridge into the river and says, "Nah, I think I'll just wait for the cops to show up."
Q: What's the difference between a Ohio State fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q: Why do Ohio State fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Ohio State campus?
A: A visitor.
Q: Did you hear about the power outage at the Ohio State library?
A: Forty students were stuck on the escalator for three hours.
Q: What does the average Ohio State student get on his SAT?
A: Drool
Q: What do you get when you cross a groundhog and a Buckeye?
A: Six more weeks of bad football.
General Schwarzkopf was walking through the desert during the Gulf War when he found a lamp on the ground. He picked it up, rubbed, and out came a genie.
The genie said to the General, "I will grant you one wish." The General replied, "I wish that we will win this war. Here is a map of the desert and all the war parties. Please make us win the war."
The genie responded, "I'm not that powerful of a genie. I cannot grant you that wish."
"Well," the General responds, "then can you have Ohio State win a bowl game this year?"
After a moment, the genie says, "Let me see that map again."
Q: What do you get when you cross an Ohio State fan and a pig?
A: Nothing. There's some things that a pig will not do.
Q: How many Ohio State freshman does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None, it's a sophomore course.
Columbus News Report: Football practice in Columbus was delayed on Monday for nearly two hours. One of the offensive players, while on his way to the locker room, happened to look down and notice a suspicious looking, unknown, white powdery substance on the practice field.
The head coach, immediately suspended practice while the FBI was called in to investigate. After a complete field analysis, the FBI determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line. Practice was resumed when the FBI decided that the team would not be likely to encounter the substance again.
Q. What did the Ohio State graduate say to the Michigan graduate?
A. "Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order, please?"
Q: How do you get an Ohio State grad off of your front porch?
A: Pay him for the pizza.
Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Columbus?
A: Ann Arbor: 187 Miles
Four college alumni were climbing a mountain one day: an Ohio State grad, a Michigan grad, a Penn State grad, and a Notre Dame grad. Each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans at their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all. They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad hurled himself off the mountain, shouting "This is for the Fighting Irish!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Penn State grad threw himself off the mountain proclaiming, "This is for the Nittany Lions!" Seeing this the Michigan grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Wolverines!" and pushed the Buckeye fan off the side of the mountain.
GO BLUE!

:orglaugh

Nice gdiddy !

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Created by: amicu

8/15/09 @ 11:56am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: In the F4F Archives, Sublevel 5, aisles 71-72
Posts: 1,088

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What's Jerry Jones' biggest concern this year? Whether Bail money counts against the Salary Cap

Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle

Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Dallas?
A: Because God couldn't find three wise men.

Real reason the new Cowboys stadium built with a retractable sun-roof? So receivers could ditch any contraband when fleeing from the police.

The Dallas Cowboys enacted a new honor system this season: Yes your honor, No your honor.

Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?
A: The police

Tony Romo recently took a homeless man to the movies in a much publicized act of charity. Unfortunately it was to see 'High School Musical 3'.

Why was Wade Phillips so upset when the Dallas Cowboys' play book was stolen? Because he hadn't finished coloring it.

Michael Irvin is producing a reality show where he'll give one guy off the street a spot on the Dallas Cowboys. The show is tentatively titled "Pacman Jones".

Q: What do you say to a Cowboy in a suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise.

Q: Why does Texas Stadium have Astroturf?
A: To keep the fans from grazing during games.

The Texas Department of Corrections plans to build a new Correctional Facility in Irving, in order to allow "Jerry's Kids" to walk to work.

Jessica Simpson is reported to have a new perfume inspired by boyfriend Tony Romo, "Choke".

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Created by: d9itl8r

8/15/09 @ 12:08pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143

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What's Jerry Jones' biggest concern this year? Whether Bail money counts against the Salary Cap
Q: What do you call a drug ring in Dallas?
A: A huddle
Q: Why wasn't Jesus born in Dallas?
A: Because God couldn't find three wise men.
Real reason the new Cowboys stadium built with a retractable sun-roof? So receivers could ditch any contraband when fleeing from the police.
The Dallas Cowboys enacted a new honor system this season: Yes your honor, No your honor.
Q: Four Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?
A: The police
Tony Romo recently took a homeless man to the movies in a much publicized act of charity. Unfortunately it was to see 'High School Musical 3'.
Why was Wade Phillips so upset when the Dallas Cowboys' play book was stolen? Because he hadn't finished coloring it.
Michael Irvin is producing a reality show where he'll give one guy off the street a spot on the Dallas Cowboys. The show is tentatively titled "Pacman Jones".
Q: What do you say to a Cowboy in a suit?
A: Will the defendant please rise.
Q: Why does Texas Stadium have Astroturf?
A: To keep the fans from grazing during games.
The Texas Department of Corrections plans to build a new Correctional Facility in Irving, in order to allow "Jerry's Kids" to walk to work.
Jessica Simpson is reported to have a new perfume inspired by boyfriend Tony Romo, "Choke".

:orglaugh

Amicu

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Created by: gdiddy

8/15/09 @ 2:04pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Posts: 1,812

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ah i hate the cowboys as well so this was a very nice read amicu!

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Created by: carousel

4/8/10 @ 3:59pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: forgotten backroad standing still in time
Posts: 761

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Love that hockey team in Toronto: go Marlies

Looks like Ottawa, Vancouver, and perhaps the HABS make the playoffs
Former NHL (& Habs) coach Pat Burns has been hospitalized with complications from his lung and colon cancer.
Burns was admitted on Sunday, the day of his 58th birthday. He�d been taking part in a daily sports show on Montreal radio station CKAC, which confirmed he was admitted.
Burns, who won a Stanley Cup with the New Jersey Devils in 2003, won 501 games from 1988-2004. He was forced to leave coaching because of the colon cancer, and when he was diagnosed with lung cancer last year, he opted against treatment.
He traveled to Quebec two weeks ago were he was joined by Prime Minister Stephen Harper at a ceremony where plans for a new arena named after the ailing former NHL coach were unveiled.
The event was held in Stanstead, Que, near the Quebec-Vermont border, where there the 56-year old rink at Stanstead College is to be replaced with a new building called the Pat Burns Arena.
The new facility is expected to be completed in 2011.

If Bettman had some class he would put Burns in the Hall Of Fame before its too late! Great coach and a great person. Wish him the best.

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Created by: d9itl8r

4/8/10 @ 4:30pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143

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I wish Pat and his family all the best ! :angel

Even if he did coach the Leafs, he was one helluva COACH and MAN :twocents

And now to the real doom and gloom or DEATH if you will :winkwink

...Yes the Leafs are not going to the playoffs. Boo hoo fuckin' hoo :drinkup

... "YES" !!!

All of this talk about the "MONSTER" (who?) Jonas Gustavsson (who?) :evil

Guess it was wise on the part of Maple Leaf Entertainment to hold off on those CLOVERFIELD type commercials of GUTAVSSON the "MUNCHKIN" stomping on downtown Montreal or hitting the Parliment buildings in Ottawa :bulb

Way to go boys, you saved yourself a huge amount of embarrassment ! :jerkoff

Really is too bad Hamilton didn't land the COYOTES. A mere 30 minute car ride south and Toronto could've been watching playoff hockey this year. Well, there's always Ottawa a coupla hours northeast

Finally, something original ... wait for it .... wait... ?????????

THERE'S ALWAYS NEXT YEAR TORONTO !!!!!!!!!!!!!! :orglaugh

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Created by: carousel

4/21/10 @ 5:17pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: forgotten backroad standing still in time
Posts: 761

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Lake Huron rolls, Superior sings
In the ruins of her ice water mansion
Old Michigan steams like a young man's dreams,
The islands and bays are for sportsmen.

:twocents

The Vancouver Canucks named Roberto Luongo as their team captain on Sept. 30, 2008, bucking the longstanding hockey tradition that goalies aren't formally given the title. He couldn't wear the captain's 'C' on his jersey per NHL rules, so he had it painted on his mask.
A year and a half later, Luongo's struggling mightily in the Canucks' Western Conference quarterfinal series against the Los Angeles Kings: 3.19 GAA and a .880 save percentage through three games, getting pulled in the Kings' Game 3 victory. He's now being psychoanalyzed in the media, and on CBC's Coach's Corner it was time for Dr. Donald Cherry's diagnosis.

"He's not playing well, something like that, I don't know what. But I know one thing: I know next year he should ask not to be the captain. I'm not saying that's the fault, but think about it: All the pressure he's got, you see your best guy pulled and you're captain's sittin' [on the bench]. You don't think that's depressing?
"I(t) doesn't make any difference anyhow. The captaincy means nothing anymore. It's when the players voted it meant something. Your peers vote. And the organization makes you captain.
"What makes me laugh: The media guys who said �Well, he's your best player, he should be the captain.' No(w) that he's not doing very good, the same guys are saying he shouldn't be captain. I said right off the bat: Dumb move to make the goaltender [captain]. They've got enough pressure on him."

Is the captaincy the reason Luongo's struggled in the last two postseasons (7-6, 35 goals allowed in 13 games)? Probably not; lord knows the lack of a defenseman to keep the Kings from running him has burdened Luongo more than the 'C'.

And on the other coast:
Being a HABS fan, we could have yelled it everywhere: HABS WIN !!! HABS WIN !!! HABS WIN !!! (game 1)
Unfortunately, this series was over right after game 2 ... a #8 seed doesn't emotionally recover from a devastating loss like that.
Starting Price tonight? ... Hope it provides a spark
But, at this point, I think (coach) Martin is just rearranging deck chairs on the Edmund Fitzgerald ...
:twocents

Superior, they say, never gives up her dead
When the gales of November come early

Go Marlies :winkwink

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Created by: carousel

4/29/10 @ 4:40pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: forgotten backroad standing still in time
Posts: 761

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Let's be real -- in pro sports, the losses don't hurt as much when the championship is out of the picture. True rivalries are few and far between, so fans tend to keep an eye on the forest of the season instead of tripping over every tree of a game.

After a team is eliminated from contention, the only thing that matters is the draft. And is there any pride or value in getting the second pick of the draft instead of the first? Or the 25th instead of the 17th? Don't think so.

Think about it -- had the Houston Texans (NFL) won a couple more meaningless games, they never would have been able to draft Mario Williams.

So what in the heck are the HABS doing? They can't score: they need wingers that can put the puck in the net: but they go out and win on defense ...
Hey, lets get the 29th pick when all the scorers are gone; draft another obscure (but outstanding) goalie ... like we need one :twocents

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Created by: d9itl8r

4/30/10 @ 8:08am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143

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THIS JUST IN ... The Toronto Maple Leafs have officially made it by the third round ??? ...
third round of golf, third round of drinks, and third round of KISS A LOSER tag ! :orglaugh

Happy as hell to see that OVECHKIN isn't happy

The cocky Quasimodo looking Russian will be wondering where it all went wrong. Well he can start back to when he got hammered by Team CANADA in Vancouver.Looks good on him, and I'm happy for the HABS !!!

"I'll take Russian Destinations for 500, ALEX(ander).

Answer: "What is the Kremlin's Dungeon ?" :thumbsup

The Canucks and the Habs look good going through to the next round, and don't count out my RED WINGS !!! :winkwink

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Created by: carousel

5/6/10 @ 6:16pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: forgotten backroad standing still in time
Posts: 761

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Created by: carousel

5/7/10 @ 3:41pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: forgotten backroad standing still in time
Posts: 761

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Habs fever, the passion that once dared not speak its name, from Bloor St W. to Roncesvalles Ave., in the heart of Leafs Nation, is everywhere in Hogtown.
The Leafs' official slogan, �The Passion That Unites Us All,� doesn't even allude to anything like victory. It could be the motto of a high school stamp club.
Les Glorieux might not be a complete foil � no Cups for them of late, either � but at least they exude a lust for winning, while the Buds have rarely been competitive at the highest levels, and last won a Stanley Cup in the late Cretaceous Period.

Much of what I posted is excerpts from the wire service. We usually aren't so fortunate to get complete articles from the Sun and/or Star in the lower 48, especially west of the Rockies. A dear friend and a loyal leafs fan sent me the entire article wondering if I was just into bashing the Leafs or a true Habs fan.

Les Canadiens de Montr�al: Club de Hockey Canadien???, of course I know

Hockey night in Canada was huge when I was a kid ... 90% of the games featured the Habs ... now its just so/so (they've included the Senators, Oilers, Flames, Canucks)... but I've followed the Habs ever since.

They had a dynastic run of four straight Cups from 1976 to 1979, and in the 1976-77 season set a modern-day record for fewest losses by only losing eight games in an 80-game season. The stars included Guy Lafleur, Yvan Cournoyer, Ken Dryden, Pete Mahovlich, Serge Savard, Guy Lapointe, Larry Robinson, Steve Shutt, and Bob Gainey. They were coached by Scotty Bowman, who would later set a record for most NHL victories by a coach. And the Canadiens won Stanley Cups in 1986, with then rookie star goaltender Patrick Roy and again in 1993, continuing their streak of winning at least one championship in every decade from the 1910s to the 1990s.

Oh, and the Cretaceous was a period with a relatively warm climate and high eustatic sea level. The oceans and seas were populated with now extint marine reptiles and ammonites. It was also the land of dinosaurs. The Cretaceous ended with one of the largest mass extinctions in Earth history, the K-T extinction, when many species, including the dinosaurs, pterosaurs, and large marine reptiles, disappeared.
It is the youngest period of the Mesozoic Era, and at 80 million years long, the longest period of the Phanerozoic Eon. The end of the Cretaceous defines the boundary between the Mesozoic and Cenozoic eras.

It also seems like it was the last time the Buds won or even smelled Lord Stanley's Cup :orglaugh

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Created by: carousel

5/12/10 @ 10:00pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: forgotten backroad standing still in time
Posts: 761

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Who knew that rearranging deck chairs on the Edmund Fitzgerald would produce such results?
:orglaugh

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Created by: Leonna Anne

5/12/10 @ 10:18pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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There were two men, one was a Red Sox fan and the other was a Yankees fan.

These men were both madly in love with the same woman. So the woman challenged that whichever man does a better job at having sex with her would be her boyfriend.

Both men accepted the challenge.

That night, the woman had sex with the Red Sox fan and then the other night had sex with the Yankees fan. The next day the woman chose the Yankees fan to be her boyfriend.

Shocked and outraged, the Red Sox fan asked why she didn't choose him.

She replied by saying, "You, like your team not only come up short but always finish early!
------------
Q: Why is the monster green?
A: Envy from Yankee wins.
------------
How do you know when the Patriots are cheating?
They are playing
------------

As a New York girl from BX, I have to show my home town love on here! I am a HUGE baseball and football fan - I play my fantasy leagues pretty regularly and I watch as many games as I can (and sometimes, I admit, when I am doing a show, I have the game on in the background).

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Created by: justleroy

5/13/10 @ 1:32am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Texas
Posts: 20

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Why can't Tony Romo answer the phone? He can't find the receiver. :drinkup

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Created by: carousel

5/13/10 @ 1:46pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: forgotten backroad standing still in time
Posts: 761

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gasp � encore: le bleu-blanc-et-rouge

Who knew that rearranging deck chairs on the Edmund Fitzgerald would produce such results?
:orglaugh

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Created by: carousel

6/10/10 @ 6:44pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: forgotten backroad standing still in time
Posts: 761

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Now that the Blackhawks won Lord Stanley's Cup...

the longest drought in the NHL (43 years) belongs to:

the BUDS ..........

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Created by: d9itl8r

6/11/10 @ 12:18pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143

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Now that the Blackhawks won Lord Stanley's Cup...

the longest drought in the NHL (43 years) belongs to:

the BUDS ..........

As if that is any suprise to us hockey connoisseurs :twocents

Global Warming will melt away every ounce of ice (indoor or otherwise) on the planet before the Leafs will ever drink from Lord Stanley's big ass mug again !!! :drinkup

So the next time you hear GM Brian Burke saying that Marco Polo is the future of the Leafs :winkwink

He ain't talkin' about a new player from Finland.

You as a Leaf fan should know that you're up shits creek without a paddle, and it is in your best interest to grab onto something that floats :bulb

And a paper bag with eyes and a nose cut out of it won't work !!! :evil

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Created by: carousel

6/17/10 @ 6:46pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: forgotten backroad standing still in time
Posts: 761

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So what in the heck are the HABS doing? They can't score: they need wingers that can put the puck in the net: but they go out and win on defense ...
Hey, lets get the 29th pick when all the scorers are gone; draft another obscure (but outstanding) goalie ... like we need one :twocents

NEWS FLASH: The St. Louis Blues now have a goalie who fits right into their youth movement, acquiring Jaroslav Halak fresh off his star-making playoff run for Montreal.

SAY WHAT?

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Created by: carousel

7/10/10 @ 7:05pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: forgotten backroad standing still in time
Posts: 761

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NEWS FLASH:

Toronto Pro Team Wins:
Argos hang on for 36-34 win over Bombers

:orglaugh

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