I have wronged a model here and am deeply ashamed. I am not good with words, so I will just lay it out there.
This model gave me a discounted rate for shows. I did not show proper appreciation. Instead I betrayed her and disrespected her by having a private show with a couple other models at a higher rate. I was a fool. She deserved better. This happened last year.
I got VIP for some of the benefits hoping to help this model be more successful. Turns out the benefits don't really help. She did not want me to be VIP. I tried to cancel but cs couldn't do it. In January my color in her room was back gold as a VIP. She got upset. I argued with cs for about an hour until they refunded my money and cancelled VIP membership. The damage was done. I was banished from her room. In a moment of utter stupidity I took another model private to talk about how I messed up and wanted advice on how to make it right.
The next day I was allowed back in her room. I immediately told her what I did. I will not hide anything from her. She was justifiably upset.
We had a connection that I damaged and am trying to get back, but the trust has been broken and she can't forgive me.
Love is the strength behind forgiveness. Loving someone else allows us to forgive them. Loving ourselves allows us to forgive ourselves. I love myself, but hate what I did to her and cannot forgive myself.
This model is the most wonderful woman on the planet. She has touched my heart in a way that I never thought would happen. This is why I cannot forgive myself for hurting her. She has a heart full of love and I was stupid and hurt her. I only pray that she will one day let me back in her life so I can try to make it up to her. It's a huge debt I owe and I intend to pay it. She deserves the best life has to offer and the best from me. I made a vow about a month ago to her, before God and I intend to keep that vow.
Keep this in mind when interacting with the models here. They are trying to earn a living and we MUST show them respect. Do not make the mistakes I made. It's not worth it. Thanks for taking the time to read this.
I am not all bad. I have always showed her support. I have helped her with contests. I paid 30k credits for a group show so she could win a contest because I know how much it means to her to win. Her needs before mine is my motto. All my credits are her credits. Some will belittle me for this, but I don't care. She is that important to me.
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