4/20/16 @ 9:01am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447
1 - Open the fridge. If it's empty, cry. Grab a bag and go to your grocery store. If there is already something edible and not yet expired in the fridge, congratulations, you can proceed immediately.
2 - What do you crave today amongst: (a) potatoes, (b) rice and (c) pasta. No, no, no, pizza is not an option. NO, hamburgers aren't in that list either. NO NO NO, no chocolate ... a slap in the face might help the decision process.
3 - Once you settled for pasta (because that is the fastest, let's face it), put them in a pot and boil them (not too long ...) and choose some random ingredients for a sauce. Yes, meat is allowed at this stage. Put favorite things in a pan, fry add some broth or cream to it, stir.
4 - In case you got caught up with Flirt's newest news and forgot about everything and it has become an unedible mass ... call a delivery service. Yes, NOW you can have pizza.
Next Up : Make a great impression on a first date Quote
4/20/16 @ 2:56pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285
1 - Select activity and place . Chose a place that serves wine - lots of it .
2 - Dress accordingly to activity and place . Suit and tie usually does fine for men .
3 - Remember to pick up date BEFORE you go to the activity and place .
4 - Enjoy all to the fullest . IF date is too drunk , evening ends sooner and SPORTS can happen again
Next up : Planning a Wedding Quote
4/24/16 @ 4:51am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447
The task of a lifetime! You know what they say: The first one, plan for an enemy, the second one for a friend and the third time around for yourself ...
1 - Find someone who is ready to marry or at least doesn't have the balls to dissent with you. Get your drawings from when you where little and planned weddings for your plushies, pets, favorite TV characters, invisible friends etc.
2 - Make a Gedankenexperiment for a ceremony at your top 3 locations. Find out that there is not enough space to marry in an airplane, too risky to marry in a zoo or botanical gardens (all those allergies) and too expensive to marry on a yacht. Repeat this point until you found a place you can afford that is yet still fancy, you can invite people to, have modest fun and are not too embarrassed about (like in the five seconds you considered your husband-to-be's suggestion of a NASCAR racing track).
3 - Consider marrying in the registry office and have a nice party in your own garden. ... Consider it again ... It's good, not what you started with, but still good. People already know where you live and you gave parties before, where's the problem?
4 - Spend most of your allowance on your dress, hair, flowers and the photographer! Get a little gift for visitors and put a piggy bank up at the entrance, a big one ... a HUGE one.
5 - Let someone's little girls be your flower girls as a favour ... you might have k1ds one day who will be begging you to be someone else's flower girls. Plan for the future.
6 - On your big day, neatly planned out to the minute, everything that can go wrong, goes wrong (Murphy's law, but ... he wasn't invited, WAS he?), girls are crying, you are screaming, something is on fire, someone was allergic to something in the cake ... police, firemen and ambulance are on their way ...
7 - Have a nervous breakdown and marry a wedding planner ...
Next up : How to turn around a bad day? Quote
4/24/16 @ 2:43pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285
1 - Call some friends to make plans
2 - Eat at a favorite diner
3 - Visit a circus or zoo
4 - Talk with k1ds
5 - Pet a dog or cat
6 - If nothing else works , visit a comedy club to here new jokes and comical stories
Next up : What to do at the Circus Quote
4/24/16 @ 4:08pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447
1 - Come early to get tickets and then walk around, smell the hay and atmosphere, listen to the sounds of (more or less) exotic animals.
2 - Compete with the k1ds: have the wider smile and the louder laugh.
3 - Just don't think about how a trick is done, just enjoy to be amazed.
4 - Wonder how the pirate lady doesn't get burned or sliced up while balancing her sword and daggers that are on fire.
5 - Wait for the major clown number ... have your best "I am a k1d at heart" look on your face and be dragged into the sketch. (Happened last time I went to Baldoni, happened several times to me, my boyfriend keeps wondering why I am "always" picked, hehe)
6 - When they let the audience visit their animals, keep crying and begging to be let onto the elephant (or camel or at least a pony? Pleeeeease?)
7 - Stay until the last minute possible. Go home light-hearted and a little sad, that circus is a dying art and wonder if you supported animal abuse ...
Next up : A day at the beach Quote
4/24/16 @ 4:17pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285
1 - Chose a beach . I love Cape May . The Resort to the US Presidents in mid 1800s to 1900 .
2 - Wear sunscreen and have a hat / umbrella
3 - Place a lawn chair close to the Ocean . The waves coming in and out always speak loud .
4 - Watch the k1ds of all ages . Some very young - others near 100 I have heard .
5 - Must test the ocean . Wet and salty .
6 - Always get a few sea shells to add to collection or use for project in the winter .
7 - Oceanside is Amusement Park . Old wooden roller coaster and many rides , foods and attractions .
Next up : How to plan a balcony garden . Quote
4/26/16 @ 9:01am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447
1 - Make sure you know exactly the sizes, distances and space you have on your balcony. If you get entangled in the tape while measuring, don't worry, just call your neighbors or passersby for help ...
2 - Plan for different kinds of flower/plant displays, use the walls around windows for ivy climbing up and allow some plants to grow downwards, too. Your neighbors don't need to see something, do they?
3 - Do not only get plants for the flower-box, but also buy some pots to stand on the ground and even better a multi-tier display shelf (plant theatre?). Looks fancy and gives your plants a height boost to be seen from the street.
4 - Now also but some figures, e.g. garden gnomes, in between, leave some space for a small table and chairs (fitting in style to the plant furniture), put your newspaper on it and THEN you are ready to sit down and enjoy.
Next up : Secrets of a long life maintaining health and humor. Quote
4/26/16 @ 2:45pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285
1 - Smoke in moderation
2 - Cuss and drink as much as you chose
3 - Work hard . Remember retirement is doing whatever you like to do .
4 - Play hard . Enjoy life and every moment .
5 - Repeat 1 to 4
Next up : How to stay dry in a rain storm . Quote
4/29/16 @ 2:33pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447
An impossible task! Here is why:
1 - Studies show that running during the rain DOES NOT reduce the amount of water you get soaked in. You get more from the front you "run into" while you think you are escaping the amount from above.
2 - While trees cover well the sun, rain always drops from one leave to the other, descending level by level, making nice sounds, in particular when landing on your head.
3 - There has not yet been invented a clothing material that keeps you dry, ponchos included. Getting wet only on half your body does not feel better at all.
4 - Even the best umbrellas fail in a rain storm. It's a natural law. Seriously.
5 - Even the best and friendliest local cannot open his/her door fast enough for the refuge seeking wanderer.
Most important thing is a hot shower asap!
Next up : Ways for members to celebrate their Flirtiversary Quote
4/29/16 @ 8:11pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285
1 - Get drunk with favorite model / models
2 - Get high with favorite model / models
3 - Spend 24 hours non stop in this site
4 - Recognize it is not sanctioned Holiday from this site and get to work
Next up : How to grow strawberries Quote
5/7/16 @ 7:12am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447
1 - Strawberries are popular and rewarding plants to grow in the domestic environment almost anywhere in the world. The best time to plant is in late summer or spring. Plant in full sun or dappled shade, and in somewhat sandy soil.
2 - The addition of manure and a balanced fertilizer aids strong growth. Alternatively they can be planted in pots or special planters using compost. Fibre mats placed under each plant will protect fruits from touching the ground, and will act as a weed barrier.
3 - Strawberries are tough and will survive many conditions, but during fruit formation, moisture is vital, especially if growing in containers. Moreover, protection must be provided against slugs and snails which attack the ripe fruit. The fruit matures in midsummer and should be picked when fully ripe.
4 - After a successful harvest reward yourself with jam, fruit juice, pies, ice creams, milkshakes, and chocolates ... Why did you not plant more?
Next up : How to win an Oscar Quote
5/7/16 @ 2:59pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285
1 - Turn on TV show "The Odd Couple" . Only need food or be messy to win Oscar Madison .
2 - Play on a site that offers an "Oscar" for predicting winners .
3 - Land on a hit movie or a remake like Mad Max
4 - Bid and buy one on Ebay . Tell everyone you won it .
Next up : How to shame Shagging Neighbors who are too loud Quote
5/16/16 @ 7:22am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447
1 - The good old college sign language: put a tie over their doorknob.
2 - At the next tenant assembly bring cake and prepare the table with a little gift for everybody, ear plugs for your good neighbors, condoms in front of those ...
3 - Place a parcel at their door with a "Beginners kit to BDSM" with just a ribbon on it ... do it early enough for other neightbors to see
4 - Find out you had targeted the wrong neighbors and hide away for the next weeks ...
Next up : Success with your flea circus Quote
5/16/16 @ 2:17pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285
1 - Keep the seating far away from "The Act" .
2 - Must play Circus Music and have it on cue for great acts .
3 - Allow NO Refunds . No need to use real fleas since no one can see them .
4 - Announce quadruple twists and great feats .
5 - Thank the suckers .... errrrr audience for their attendance to the Greatest Act Ever !!!!
Next up : Mickey Mouse Club Quote
5/20/16 @ 4:12am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447
1 - "The Mickey Mouse Club" was an American variety television show that aired intermittently from 1955 to 1996. Created by Walt Disney and produced by Walt Disney Productions, the program features a regular but ever-changing cast of mostly t33n performers.
2 - Although the series had been discontinued in the United States, many members of the cast assembled for highly successful tours of Australia in 1959 and 1960. The television series was very successful in Australia and was still running on Australian television.
3 - The 1989–1995 revival, "All-New Mickey Mouse Club" series is notable for featuring a number of mouseketeers who went on to international success in music and acting, including Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Justin Timberlake, Ryan Gosling and Keri Russell.
4 - Former Mouseketeer Don Grady guest starred on an episode during the show's first season. Grady, along with fellow Mouseketeers Annette Funicello, Bobby Burgess, Tommy Cole, Sharon Baird, and Sherry Alberoni were reunited on the 100th episode, during the show's third season.
5 - A new South Korean version of the series debuted in 2015 on Disney Channel (Korea) with a similar format as the original one in the US.
Next up : Advice on meeting with an alien lifeform for the first time Quote
5/20/16 @ 3:28pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285
1 - Be friendly
2 - Do not shoot Aliens with low technology guns
3 - Give Reece Pieces [ Used in E.T. ]
4 - Make a video of yourself with the Aliens . Make a million while having fun .
5 - Do NOT go into their Space Ship [ One way trip to THIER planet and lots of medical tests and probes ]
Next up : How to pick good movies to watch on the Weekend Quote
6/2/16 @ 7:33am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447
1 - Check which movies are running.
2 - Discuss with your friend(s) why this or that movie would be fun to watch. Remember the good old times and movies you saw together previously.
3 - Ask your friend(s) what (t/s)he(y/-) would prefer to see. Make it a top three list if you don't have overlap.
4 - If you don't have enough overlap, start with (2) again.
5 - If you discuss for too long, start with (1) again.
Next up : Effects when eating Alien chocolate
Quote
6/2/16 @ 7:19pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285
1 - Mind control starts BEFORE 1st bite
2 - I am eating what ?
3 - Strong addictive traits makes it impossible to stop at least 10 kg
4 - Turns humans tall and blue like Avatar
Next up : How to find water in the desert Quote
6/5/16 @ 6:55am
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Spain, longing for Denmark
Posts: 2,447
1 - Search your well prepared backpack ... Seriously? You forgot to pack WATER??
2 - Go to a local store and ... what?!?!? You are already FAR IN the desert??
3 - Follow any animal you see. Dig around any plant you see.
4 - Set up a morning dew trap ... You don't know how? Did you not read anything about survival?
5 - Use a divining rod ... Sit down and cry and pray.
6 - Follow the first Fata Morgana you see, dive into the illusion and try to be happy until the end!
Next up : How to make the perfect birthday gift Quote
6/5/16 @ 8:39pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285
1 - Find out interests and Birth year
2 - Find coins that follows interest AND Proof Set of Birth year coims
3 - Put inside a LARGE envelope OR a small decorated basket
4 - Add home made baked goodies
5 - Accidently leave extra spending money or a Gift Card inside
Next Up : How to spot An Alien Quote
